THE BRAVE GUIDE: A BOLD & BRAVE WORKBOOK
With its unique blend of practical advice, interactive exercises, and more, The Brave Guide is a must-have resource for anyone committed to living a fulfilling life of sobriety.
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“I understood, through rehab, things about creating characters. I understood that creating whole people means knowing where we come from, how we can make a mistake, and how we overcome things to make ourselves stronger.”
Let’s get something clear right here and now: being clean or dry is not the same as being sober. Yeah, we stopped using—and that’s great and all—but that doesn’t mean we’ve actually changed a damn thing otherwise. True sobriety is a much bigger animal. It refers to a person who has both stopped using and changed their life. So it’s not just quitting our poison of choice.
“It is not the sober body that produces a sober mind but, rather, it is the sober mind that will produce a sober body.” – Diana Lea
With its unique blend of practical advice, interactive exercises, and more, The Brave Guide is a must-have resource for anyone committed to living a fulfilling life of sobriety.
In other words, it’s not just about flushing the booze, blow, or pills out of our system. If it were that easy, every detox center would have an exit ramp to happily-ever-after, and we all know they don’t! Addiction is more than just a repeated behavior; it’s a disease that affects nearly all areas of our lives. It’s a complete body-mind-spirit demon possession. So, quitting is a good start, sure, but it’s not enough to actually achieve true sobriety.
Being clean simply means our bodies are no longer marinating in those deadly poisons we were feeding ourselves for so long. Being clean or dry happens when the chemical components of the substance is completely out of our systems and our bodies can finally function in a state unaffected by the influences. But getting rid of all traces of drugs and alcohol from our systems is only the beginning of sobriety. True sobriety is when we rewire everything else—our mind, emotions, habits, relationships, and especially our addict way of thinking.
When we get clean or dry, we tend to feel, and focus on, being deprived—like we’re being punished while everyone else gets to party. Meanwhile, we might be sitting there sulking, thinking about how life isn’t fair. We’re mad at people who we perceived “forced” us to quit, jealous of those who don’t have our problems, and bitter about everything else in between. And if that’s where our mindset stays, we’re one resentment away from full-blown relapse because we’re treating our abstinence as if it’s a jail sentence, even if we were the ones that made the choice to quit!
Sobriety isn’t just abstinence. It’s learning to live life on life’s terms without losing our ever-loving fucking minds. Because let’s face it, we addicts are pros at avoiding shitty feelings. We’d rather dive headfirst into a Parana tank than deal with our anger, shame, guilt, fear, and loneliness. So, when those feelings come up and we’re clean but haven’t really “sobered up”, our reactions tend to be over the top—like Oscars-worthy drama bullshit. True sobriety means we are free from our addiction in such a way that we can handle those feelings. Sobriety teaches us how to sit with that discomfort without self-destructing all over the place. And, crazy as it sounds, those shitty-ass feelings we worked so hard to avoid in our addiction? We find they can actually be quite useful.
Now, here’s the deal: addiction isn’t just about chemicals or behaviors. It’s about excess. It’s too much of damned near everything—substances, drama, our exaggerated way of thinking, our excessive behavior, and our dramatic overreacting. We addicts are hooked on extremes and drama every bit as much as we are to a chemical-although we may deny that until the day we die or actually do get sober, whichever comes first. Which reminds me of that AA joke we all know so well:
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A scientist bursts into an AA meeting all excited and exclaims “we did it! We finally invented a cure for alcoholism! All you have to do is take one of these pills and you are cured forever.” Slowly a hand raises in the back and an AA asks, “so what happens if you take two?
Exactly. But just quitting alone isn’t enough. Clean is only the first part but it is not sufficient in and of itself to be considered truly sober. Sobriety is far more complex than simply quitting. It’s stepping out of our all-or-nothing mindset. It’s finding balance, being at peace in our own skin, and not needing life to be a constant adrenaline rush.
Can we just talk definitions for a sec? Long, long ago in a land far, far away, the word sober meant, “reduce to a quiet condition.” Doesn’t that sound like the opposite of how most of us lived during the throws of our addiction? We alcoholics and addicts find it almost painful to be honest with ourselves. But with proper addiction treatment, those emotions we resisted feeling with such fervor are actually reduced to a quiet condition allowing us to finally become comfortable with being completely and brutally honest with ourselves.
In true sobriety, we can face all those ugly truths we used to drown in our drinks or smother with our drugs. And yeah, it’s uncomfortable. But facing those unwanted truths is how we stop running away from our best lives.
Now let’s take a moment to look at today’s definition of Sober, shall we?
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The first two definitions are about abstinence, sure, but the other three describe attributes. Thy include being free from excess and having self-restraint. That’s the gold standard right there. It is when we acquire these attributes that we lay the foundation of true sobriety. The person that displays these is truly sober, not just clean. Sobriety is manifested in “all their affairs.” This person practices sobriety every moment of their life. And this sobriety is manifested in the way they live their lives, not in their words. Sobriety is living life in the pursuit of peace and joy in a way that avoids excess. So true sobriety isn’t just about staying dry; it’s about living in a way that’s calm, grounded, and—dare I say it—serene.
True sobriety will show up in all areas of our lives. It’s not just about what we don’t do (drink, use, gamble, whatever); it’s about how we show up—for ourselves, for others, for life. It’s about making choices that reflect peace and joy instead of chaos and misery.
Dry addicts? They’re still battling their demons. Sober addicts? They’ve accepted that their addiction wasn’t the whole problem—their thought processes and choices were quite to blame. They learned that their addiction was just one of many symptoms of a much bigger mess. Sobriety isn’t just putting down the bottle or the needle; it’s an entirely new way of thinking, behaving, and a new attitude toward self, others, and the world in general.
This three-month prompted daily journal has 2-page spreads and includes weekly reviews, daily quotes, weekly mantras, and much more
Before we can achieve true sobriety, we have to first learn, then accept, and finally embody, a whole new set of beliefs. Ones that work better for us than the ones we had in our addiction heyday. And yeah, that kind of change doesn’t happen overnight.
True Sobriety actually has three aspects which are all pretty critical to any addiction recovery.
1. Physical sobriety happens after our body has been free of chemicals long enough for our brains (the organ) to start the recovery process, allowing us to think a little more clearly and make decisions based on reality rather than confusion and anxiety.
2. Emotional and mental sobriety happens when we finally accept who we are, what we have done, and what we need to do in order to right the mistakes we have made (to the extent possible). From there, we learn to connect with others in a more functional way and begin to feel comfortable in our own skins.
3. Social sobriety is where we re-enter society without being a trainwreck, making amends to others, and developing functioning social skills to re-integrate with the world outside the recovery community.
Full physical recovery from all the shit we did to our bodies can take anywhere from a few months to as long as a few years, depending on how much damage we’ve done to our bodies. It can also take months by the time our brains can even begin to think clearly. While only some of us may require assistance to restore order to our neurological systems, nearly all of us need help to restore our lives. Now, if it takes that long to attain physical sobriety, it would necessarily take longer to reach mental and emotional sobriety since this requires calm and rational thinking with a clear mind. This would be because being sober in the mind involves very complex processes like:
But here’s the kicker: even if we’ve been clean for years, if we don’t purposefully work towards changing how we think, cope, and respond to life, we’ll never reach true, peaceful, sobriety. To attain that, we have to tackle the root causes of our addiction and learn healthier ways to deal with life’s bullshit. We have to rewire our brain, unlearn old behaviors, and embrace new ones.
One-of-a-kind workbook for Steps 6 & 7: Removing Character Defects. Includes tracker for up to 12 character defects with 100 entries for mindfully swapping defects for assets
People who are simply clean still struggle with their addiction. Becoming sober in mind as well as body means learning to cope with our emotional issues as well as our mental obsession with using through various approaches. This learning and mental shift can help to determine how we handle our cravings or possibly even free our minds from cravings altogether. Can you even imagine what that could be like? I mean, fucking game changer all the way!
Those who have truly sobered up developed healthy ways to fill the void that addiction left behind. They learned spiritual, behavioral, and emotional methods to deal with their feelings including their urges. Furthermore, they found their tribe and a place to fit in and be fully accepted which in turn allows them to deal with the outside world in a much healthier way. They learned how to be okay—even happy—without needing that crutch. They stop seeing sobriety as a punishment and started living it as freedom.
Those who cope best are the recovering alcoholics and addicts that accept their circumstances and their need for a change in their lifestyles. Living sober is a commitment to living our lives differently—a day at a time, a moment at a time. It’s about commitment, attitude, habits, practice, and who we choose to spend our time with. The chances of long-term recovery exponentially increase if we can make meaningful changes in our lives.
If nothing ever changes, then nothing will ever change!
It takes a mental shift, a change in thinking, to get and stay sober. Most recovering addicts need help rewiring their beliefs, learning functional behaviors, and how to respond to various situations in a way that works for them. The good news? We don’t have to do it alone. Recovery support groups—whether it’s SMART Recovery, AA or another 12-step fellowship, or something else altogether—can be lifesavers when it comes to carving out a new way of being. Many people have actually achieved true sobriety through these addiction support groups because There’s strength and courage in numbers, and there’s a sense of freedom in letting others walk this road with us.
The truth is, though, true sobriety isn’t easy. We have to work for it. But living sober is more than just not using; it’s finding a new way of life. A better, more peaceful life with purpose, meaning, hope, and joy in a community that shares our outlook. It’s a life where we can finally breathe again. And yeah, it’s so fuckin’ worth it!
Includes 91 Guided Meeting journal pages, weekly planner, meeting planner, phone list, meeting & sobriety Logs, self-talk & mood trackers, challenge planner, and more!
